Sunday, September 25, 2011


This hasn't been a very good weekend.

I went to Shaun's earlier. Yesterday actually. He was in a really terrible mood. I mean, he really was pissed. Maybe he was fighting with his parents again or something, I don't know, but he was totally off.

I guess I just need to vent. Tell someone about what happened. Lexi's busy with her club right now, Rose probably wouldn't be any help at all, just... ugh.
I'm a bit worried about him, Shaun that is, though I often am worried for him now that I think about it... I'll try and remember, roughly, what exactly went on, because the details kind of matter, but it won't be perfect. Oh well.


I'd finished all my homework for Monday, finally done studying and all, even got some stuff done on this English project due on the 4th. It was about.. 5:20 so there was some time still to hang out, so I was more than happy to go chill with Shaun. It's been about a week since I've seen him last, so it was a bit of a no-brainer about what I'd spend the rest of my day doing.

Went in, gave a short greeting to Mrs. Murphy - who (as usual) responded with a glance and a quick 'hey.' Shaun's got a little sister, Alicia, about three years old or so. I'm always nice to her, she's a sweet little girl. She showcased to me her new 'dolly' as I made my way to his room, and I went along with it for a minute until Mr. Murphy's arrival drew her attention to the other side of the house.

"Hey," I say to Shaun as I walked in. All I got was a grunt as a response, but that's pretty normal. He was wired into his Xbox, brow furrowed as his match of Black Ops intensified. He had some old, ratty shirt, a silly graphic tee, "I Declare A Thumb War" in bold grays over a camouflage print.
"Hah, how many times have you worn that shirt, now? It's starting to look a little grody."
"How many times have you worn that face, now? It's starting to look a little ugly."
A real pal, right? I know he doesn't say it with malice, but I wish he'd just chill sometimes. He's always so flipping defensive. Anyway, I pressed on.
"Just finished studying all that world history. Hell of a lot to go over. Want to shoot some hoops outside?"

Now I don't know why, but Shaun owns a basketball goal, sitting at the front of the lawn facing the street. Little kids from the streets around us use it more than we do, but it's there nonetheless. Shaun's not quite the athletic type if you know what I mean so I'm not even sure why he owns it.

"Pfft. Basketball. Such a retarded sport."
"Come on, we used to play all the time, and I'm willing to bet you've not been doing much other than Call of Duty today. Come out and play."
"You're an idiot, John."

That really got under my skin. I mean, he's usually a bit of a douche, but after so much damn work all I wanted to do was have fun with my best friend. I shouldn't have responded the way I did, but I was pretty annoyed.

"God, Shaun, do you even realize how much of an ass you can be?"
"Piss off."

I'm hardly ever that mad. I should have just stopped the conversation right here. Could've said 'whatever, just start a two-player match, then.' Anything.
But, I was pissed. My voice grew louder.

"Why do I even bother? No, seriously, Shaun. Tell me why I even bother coming over here to hang out with you. It's not like I see any of your other friends here."
And it's true. I can't remember the last time I've seen another car parked in Shaun's driveway. It's like nobody, not even his cousins or extended family, come to visit the Murphys.
Shaun didn't respond. He was barely even focused on his game at this point - his eyes stared hard at the screen, thumbs moving slowly, as if they were numb. He died several times - but he obviously wasn't bothered.

I spoke up again.
"That's what I thought." Again I waited for any sort of response from Shaun. His thumbs picked up speed, dancing across the controller. Graceful, like sumo wrestlers.

I don't like flipping shit like that, but, hey. He was being a complete jerk.

I stormed out of the house, without a word to Shaun's parents nor to Alicia. The Mister and Missus were stooped over bills and checkbooks in the kitchen - they probably never noticed me leave until the door slammed behind me.
Fuming, I walked across the street to my own home. As I was heading back, the scene replayed in my head, and I didn't even notice my gait slowly halting, until finally I stopped halfway up my front lawn.
What the hell was I doing? Shaun's my best friend. I took three long, somewhat-calming breaths, and turned back.

I didn't even knock. "Come on in, make yourself at home, brat..." Shaun's mother said. I heard Mr. Murphy mumble behind me, too. "Obnoxious much?" and their attention returned to finances.

I made my way straight to his room. "C'mon. We're playing basketball."
"No, we are going, now. Come on. Daylight don't last forever."
He put on his familiar air of annoyance, but he trudged along behind me.
He sighed. "Let's get this over with..."

He put more effort into that game, probably, than he's put into any game before. For once, he creamed me.
It was almost enjoyable after that.

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